Cid Highwind's Final Fantasy Talk Show
by Water Angel3
Summary: Cid's got a new talk show and Red XIII keeps annoyng him to death!! R


Cid Highwind's Final Fantasy Talk Show  
  
by Mistique  
  
Cid "Hello everyone! stay tooned for our first edition. This is Cid Highwind, bringing you the first ever talk show with guests from all over. Today's guests are... Headmaster Cid Kramer-  
  
crowd "Yay"  
  
Cid "Hey, I'm not done yet! %&*%^ people... I gotta get me some audience members that haven't been brainwashed first"  
  
Guy behind camera (hey, whadyaknow: It's Red XIII) "You think you can actually get someone here without brainwashnig them first?"  
  
Cid "Shut up, *&^%* dog!!... so, like I was saying: Headmaster Cid Kramer and uhh... beautiful wife Edea! (to Red XIII) Hey, did you write this!!?"  
  
Red "Yep! What's wrong with it?"  
  
Cid "ahh.. beautiful??? geez, she's uglyer than a rat's ass!"  
  
Red "Did ya see her husband?"  
  
Cid "Uhh... no"  
  
Red "Then take a good look at him and then tell me if she still seems ugly"  
  
Cid "... ok"  
  
Headmaster Cid "Hey, can we come on stage now!!?"  
  
Cid "Uhh.. no"  
  
H Cid "WHY???"  
  
Cid "Cuz I say so..."  
  
Red "Cid, ya bitch! Let him in!!"  
  
Cid "NO! This is my show and you all do what the %&^% I tell you to do! Mwuhahaha!"  
  
a boot comes flying from behind the camera and hits Cid in his face  
  
Cid "Owie!! (&^%*&*$^!!!! Ok ok... come on in..."  
  
H Cid and Edea get on the stage. Cid takes a good look at H Cid and the cigarette falls from his lips  
  
Cid "SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!!! I'VE GONE BLIND!!! *makes Cloud faces going insane*  
  
Red "Knock if off you asswhipe!!"  
  
Cid "Is it safe to look?" *takes hands off eyes and sees H Cid again* "Ahhh! My eyes! My poor little eyes!!!"  
  
another boot comes flying into Cid's face  
  
Cid "Thanx, I needed that"  
  
Red "No prob!"  
  
H Cid "Will you get on with the show already!? I'm a very busy man, you know"  
  
Cid "Oh, I can see that..."  
  
H Cid "What's that supposed to mean!?"  
  
Cid "Well it's obvious you don't get enough beauty sleep"  
  
H Cid "Get to the point"  
  
Cid "Ok" *takes out his spear* "This pointy enough for ya?" *turns to Edea* "So, my dear... How did this ape get ya to marry him?"  
  
Edea "Well... I married him outta love"  
  
H Cid "There, you see?"  
  
Edea "Then again, he did look better when I married him..."  
  
H Cid "Edy, dear... how can you say such a thing?"  
  
Cid "Oh, no, you're not! This is exactly what I wanted to hear, you're not taking this satisfaction from me!" *pounds fist repeatedly on H Cid's face*  
  
another boot comes flying from behind the camera, but this time Cid takes out a tennis racket and hits the boot, making it fly back and hit Red XIII in the face  
  
Cid "Bet ya idn't see that one coming, now did ya!!? Mwuhahahaha!!!!"  
  
Red "Umm... we'll be right back"  
  
--later-  
  
Red "And we're back on the air in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... go!"  
  
Cid "So, Edea, I hear you recieved the powers of a sorceress... Why don't you tell us what it's like?"  
  
Edea "Well... I did recieve the powers of a sorceress... of Sorceress Ultimecia, to be more precise... and- *a loud noise anounces that the time has expired*  
  
Cid "Oh... I'm sorry... looks like the time for talking is up... Let's hear the audience's questions" *looks around the crowd*  
  
Audience member #1 "Hey, pick me!!"  
  
Audience member #2 "No, me!!"  
  
Audience member #3 "I wanna go first!!!"  
  
Audience member #4 "Don't pick me!"  
  
Cid "Hey, you over there! The girl with the green vest! You go first!"  
  
Audience member #4 "Who, me?"  
  
Cid "Yeah, you, what's your name?"  
  
Audience member #4 "Hehehe... I knew he'd pick me!!! My name's Mistique"  
  
Cid "Let's hear your question, Mistique!"  
  
Mistique "Well... I did wanna ask Edea why she never had any children of her own"  
  
Cid "Geez! Didn't you look at H Cid's face!!? With a father like that who knows what monsters they could have created!!? Ok, thank you, Mistique, now onto the next question" *takes another look around the audience* "Hey, you! That girl over there dressed in blue! What's you name?"  
  
Girl in blue "Me? My name's Cleo"  
  
Cid "Ok, tell us your question"  
  
Cleo "Will you marry me, Cid?"  
  
Cid "Uhh... sure! Next question! Oooops! Looks like our time is up! Toon in next time when our special guests will be Sorceress Ultimecia and the great Sephiroth! Good bye, everyone!"  
  
Red "Bye, folks!"  
  
Cid *evil smile* "Payback time!!!" *grabs a boot and throws it at Red XIII*  
  
So, how'd you guys like the first ever episode??? I have to admit... I was inspired by An Evil Freak Named Ashi's fanfic: The Zell And Irvine Show. You send me your reviews with opinions and questions for the show, ok? Next episode coming soon!!! 


End file.
